Life Lessons - Desert Island Discs

Keith Richards, Hugh Bonneville, Lily Allen, Alex Crawford and Berry Gordy have been keeping me company lately. On long car journeys to visit clients or when I’m working from home. Mainly after a long day whilst I’m soaking in the bath, face mask on, eyes closed. 

45 minutes of music and conversation on the BBC iPlayer with people who really have something to say. Or perhaps it’s not that they have something to say, it’s just that they are worth listening to.

Desert Island Discs has been around forever, since 1942 to be exact but until recently I’d never paid attention. Now I find myself addicted. I need my fix at least twice weekly, more if I make the time. Time to listen. Time to quieten the noise of my brain and really focus on just one thing.

The conversations inspire me. They are full of answers to questions I didn't know were puzzling me. I have a lot of Eureka moments when I listen. My approach is to look at the names on the list and choose someone I’ve never heard of, or type a first name into the search box and see who appears. ’Alice’ brought me the joy of listening to Alice Walker talk about activism and writing The Colour Purple, a book that I love. 'John' uncovered John Timpson talking of the challenges of fostering children, being swindled in a family business and second chances. Noel Gallagher talks of a fast rise to fame, sibling rivalry and cleaning up his act for his missus. Architect Zaha Hadid is an interesting listen, awkward at times but incredibly frank and honest. Inga Beale, CEO of Lloyds Bank talks of building strong teams, when to walk away, and risk. Yinka Shonibare, Lemn Sissay and Ray Winstone moved me to tears.

There’s magic in these recordings.  I feel the need to share because they are full of wisdom, and experience and considered thought, compassion and honesty. If you've watched the news lately it feels like the world is drowning in a sea of hate, violence, financial ruin and political chaos. There's little mention of hope. Hope doesn't make the headlines. 

The problems we face as individuals, in personal relationships, in business and as families are nothing new. The back catalogue of desert island interviews is testament to that and also to the strengths of humanity. It fills me with hope.

Tune in, really listen and see what you discover. 

(Thanks to K and N for suggesting I give Desert Island Discs a second chance, initially the theme tune put me off. Sacrilege I know, it's a classic but well, I've still to appreciate it's melody.)

*Image by Roman Craft via Unsplash.

Lessons in Love

I've been in my element this last week watching a series of programmes on Channel 4 about people looking for love. A fly on the wall documentary, filmed in a restaurant where singletons meet potential suitors for the first time. Particular favourites were 62 year old glamour puss Lynda, whose party piece was doing the splits. She was widowed and searching for a new partner in crime. Then there was the confident 22 year old Londoner who confused himself with JayZ and tried to impress by rapping through most of dinner. A stark contrast to the guy who’s hands shook as he presented his date with a box of chocolates. Some had no clue how to impress; others were hitting it off and having a rare old time. All were open to opportunity and putting themselves forward to at least give it a go.

If you've been following this blog since the very beginning you’ll know that I once ran a dating agency and that I go weak at the knees for a bit of old fashioned romance. This could be the result of reading Rapunzel and Cinderella stories as a child, or my teenage years spent watching Dirty Dancing and longing for someone to say ‘Nobody puts Baby Annie in the corner’. Whatever the reason I just can’t help myself when it comes to affairs of the heart and it seems I'm not alone.

On the tube home the other day a guy was attempting to chat up a girl, and from her body language the attraction was mutual. The 50 something year old man seated beside me winked and said ‘I hope he gets her number.’ The whole carriage tuned in and we were all fighting the temptation to shout ‘Just Ask Her Out’!!!! Everyone loves a bit of romance.

I'm no relationship expert but I think there are lessons for us all to learn in love regardless of our situation. The singletons, the happily married, those who stay with a partner because they are scared of being alone, the ones who want to fix things but can’t find the words to make that happen, the lonely, the stubborn, the dreamers.

The lessons in love are there for all to see if you look closely enough. The parts of the stories I, we, choose to ignore are the blatantly obvious ‘in your face’ realities. I mean can you imagine how painful it must have been for poor Rapunzel’s head whilst that bloke climbed up her ponytail into the tower? Or how nervous Cinderella must have been prancing around in a pair of slippers that were made from glass? Ouch!

If Rapunzel had a voice she’d tell you straight that love can give you a headache but sometimes it's worth buying extra strength conditioner for your hair. Cinderella would show you the blisters she bears from dressing to impress her beau whilst telling you there’s nothing better than shiny new shoes.

Compromise isn't sexy but if you want love to last it seems to be part of the deal. In order to find love in the first place you've got to be willing to give it a go, so next time you're on the subway take your headphones off, put down that paper and have a good look around. You just never know .....