Too Old

More and more I find myself saying the words ‘I’m too old for that’ to which people reply with a list of reasons why I’m not old. I know I’m not old. If I get hit by a bus tomorrow and die people will say, ‘It’s terrible. She was only 37’. So let me explain what I mean and why at this stage in my life, being too old is something worth celebrating.

Yesterday, in a cold and rainy Glasgow, whilst queuing in a shop, I found myself looking at a young woman’s bottom. I prefer big strapping men with hairy chests so this was quite unusual, but it was hard to miss. As I placed my shopping basket on the floor my eyes were in line with her tiny shorts, where her peachy cheeks were on display for all to see. She looked great but I'm so happy that I'm too old to dress like that. My days of literally freezing my ass off in the name of fashion, and the self-consciousness that goes with it, are long gone.

I'm so happy that I'm too old to fancy boys in low slung, waddle walking jeans, with One Direction haircuts. My youth was spent fantasising about Michael Hutchence and Jim Morrison, and let’s not put the cat amongst the pigeons, with those double denim hunks from Bros. 

I'm so happy that I'm too old to go clubbing. My days of batting my eyelashes at the bouncer to try and jump the queue, paying a tenner to get in, and fighting for room on the dance floor are over. Nowadays I do my dancing at gigs, house parties and weddings.

I'm so happy that I'm too old to not be taken seriously because I'm ‘only young’!

Being too old is brilliant because it means that I have worn the mini-skirts, had the bad perm and found out the hard way that drinking Sambuca shots was not a clever idea. I've had my heart broken by a bad boy and know real love isn't like that. Being too old means I don't put up with any nonsense, I've stood up to the pushy people, and found my voice to say No when I was expected to say Yes. I've learned who my real friends are and stuck to them like glue. Some of these experiences were exciting adventures, others big mistakes or huge disappointments but I don't regret any of them. Most were great fun!

So perhaps I need to change my expression from ‘ I'm too old’ to ‘I don’t want to do that any more'.

Now, if you’ll excuse me I'm going out tonight and need to try on every outfit in my wardrobe, faff around for half an hour and then decide to wear the first thing I tried on. I might be too old for hot pants but some things never change …..

image via SomeECards.com

My word for 2012 is YES

I used to write New Years Resolutions on a piece of paper and stick them to the inside of the kitchen cupboard. The list would include taking up new things and giving up "bad" things. The theory was that when I opened the cupboard each morning for the coffee I would be reminded of the challenges I'd set myself. Rarely did I ever score anything off the list.

This year I'm going to simplify things. Instead of resolutions I am going to make a commitment to myself to say Yes more often. That's it, pure and simple. I'm going to say Yes and see where it leads me. Yes, yes, yes, yes, YES. 

There, how difficult can it be?

This commitment to saying Yes is in relation to my personal life, to being less of a commitment phobe and to keep taking chances. The last five years have been an emotional roller coaster ride, none of which I would change. The thing I have learned the most is that you only get one shot at life and I fully intend to live mine to the full. This sentiment is summed up in the three sentences below, words which I spotted from a train window, sprayed by a graffiti artist on a cold stone wall somewhere in London many moons ago.

If you don't go after what you want, you'll never have it.

If you don't ask, you'll never know.

If you don't step forward, you're always in the same place.

Wishing you health, wealth and happiness in 2012. What word will you choose?