The Skinnydipping Chapter

My word for 2012 is YES

2012-01-06T09:11:00.000-08:00

I used to write New Years Resolutions on a piece of paper and stick them to the inside of the kitchen cupboard. The list would include taking up new things and giving up "bad" things. The theory was that when I opened the cupboard each morning for the coffee I would be reminded of the challenges I'd set myself. Rarely did I ever score anything off the list.

This year I'm going to simplify things. Instead of resolutions I am going to make a commitment to myself to say Yes more often. That's it, pure and simple. I'm going to say Yes and see where it leads me. Yes, yes, yes, yes, YES.

There, how difficult can it be?

This commitment to saying Yes is in relation to my personal life, to being less of a commitment phobe and to keep taking chances. The last five years have been an emotional roller coaster ride, none of which I would change. The thing I have learned the most is that you only get one shot at life and I fully intend to live mine to the full. This sentiment is summed up in the three sentences below, words which I spotted from a train window, sprayed by a graffiti artist on a cold stone wall somewhere in London many moons ago.

If you don't go after what you want, you'll never have it.

If you don't ask, you'll never know.

If you don't step forward, you're always in the same place.

Wishing you health, wealth and happiness in 2012. What word will you choose?

Singing in the rain - Take That

2011-06-24T07:10:00.000-07:00

On Wednesday night my friend Caroline and I boarded a packed train, joined a massive snake of hyper 30 - 40something women, who had swapped their killer heels for wellies and plastic ponchos, and made our way over the railway bridge, past the houses and mounted police and skipped and giggled our way to Hampden Park. Take That and Robbie Williams were playing to a packed stadium and the atmosphere was electric.

We were giggling like school girls, hand in hand, racing down the stairs to the packed arena. The massive stage looming over us as the big clock counted down the seconds to the performance starting, 30, 29, 28 , 27 ……scrrreeeeeeeeeaaaaam! Hands in the air, jumping up and down, feeling so alive and invincible.

The rain was torrential; it rolled down our faces, clamped our once styled hair to our heads and soaked through the ponchos until our clothes were glued to our backs. We didn’t care, not one little bit, it felt gloriously liberating. All these women, mascara stained cheeks, looking like drowned rats yet deliriously happy, jumping about like besotted teenagers, screaming “I love you Gary!” and throwing their arms around each other , one big strong sisterhood. All girls together.

I could write a review of the performance, of the amazing stage show, the dancers, the way that the ever arrogant Robbie Williams whipped the crowd into a frenzy, the costumes, the new songs and the old classics but the performance was only part of the experience for me and I’m sure all of the other women there would agree. There was something magic in the air that night, you could almost have reached out and touched the excitement, the positivity, the sense of freedom.

Take That have still got "it", the difference is that whilst I love their music I no longer dream of marrying them or have their babies like I did when I was 12. The thrill of the gig at Hampden stems from tapping into that feeling of being a teenager, of first love, of the friendships you make that survive the test of time and of being free. It’s now two days since the gig and I still have the butterflies in my tummy, the songs are on repeat in my head and the grin is still spread across my face.

Caroline and I have been friends for a long, long time and I’m so glad we shared that experience, when we are old grannies with perms and matching court shoes we’ll have a rare old time reminiscing.

It’s definitely true that as a woman in my 30’s I’m having a much better time than I did as a teenager but if I could capture that feeling, that anticipation for life, for love, that belief that maybe, just maybe all the words in the songs would come true, then I would. I’d put it in a bottle and pour myself a big glass of anticipation every morning and bounce my way through life head first.

A little perspective

2010-12-02T18:44:00.000-08:00

I was wearing jeans, two pairs of socks, big furry boots, two long sleeved tops, jumper, cardigan, scarf, winter coat, another scarf, hat and gloves and still I could feel the cold nipping at my bones.

It was 10.30pm and I was standing at Central Station looking at the departures board filling up with “cancelled” notifications and praying my train would turn up. All I could think of was a hot bath and getting home. I took a seat on the metal chairs on the platform and quickly stood back up. Baltic!

In the afternoon I’d been walking through the city centre and had passed a man begging outside Buchanan Street station. “Any spare change?” “Can you spare some change?” He was sitting on the ice cold street with his back resting against the wall, a paper cup in his bare hands. I didn’t have any change, like everyone else I kept walking, but something made me stop. He was so polite and it was freezing. All around us were shoppers laden with bags from Frasers, M&S, Molten Brown, Karen Millen….. yet no-one seemed to have any change to spare for this poor man.

I went to the cashline, then the cafe and bought him a cup of tea. Something warm. I went back and gave him some money and handed him the tea. He looked so grateful, but then I noticed the cup of soup he was holding in his frozen,blue hands.

By the time he’d had his soup the tea would be cold, useless. Perhaps as well as money he’d have enjoyed a conversation, someone to listen, and someone to talk to, to be treated like a human being and given a bit of dignity. I hadn't really paid attention, I had made assumptions.

Why didn’t I just give him the money so he could buy his own tea? Was I judging him in case he spent the money on booze or drugs? That would be his decision, and to be honest who could blame him if he did, I'd want to escape reality if it was me in his shoes.

Can you imagine, I mean really imagine what it feels like to sleep in a shop doorway in December? Apart from the brutal cold and the fear of assault, can you imagine how it feels to be so alone in the world that you have no-one to turn to? Can you imagine sitting on the pavement begging for money? How would it feel to be ignored, invisible? That man is someone's son, brother, father or husband. He didn't end up on the streets on purpose, he just got dealt a bad hand.

I’m no expert, I don’t have the answers but I thought about it a hell of a lot waiting on that train. An hour waiting in the cold for a train that arrived and took me home to my flat, with its central heating, hot bath and warm bed.

The headlines are full of travel news and snow updates. The buses are late, the football is cancelled ......a little perspective, please.

If, like me, you'd like to find answers to some of the questions I've asked in this blog then perhaps Shelter Scotland is a good place to start.

My little bit of heaven

2010-06-02T07:46:00.000-07:00

This beach has been my friend for a long time. It is part of who I am. It is the one thing that I am going to miss when I move away because I can’t take it with me. Unlike my friends I can’t phone it up for a chat, meet it for a drink, or talk to it online.

I spend a lot of time here, come rain or shine I like to pad along the shore, listening to the waves beating against the wall, and watching the people who share this precious place.

Its home to the little yacht club and the adventurous souls who drag their boats into the cold water. Its home to the waggly tailed dogs and the children who build castles on the sands. The grannies who sit on the benches eating their 99’s and reminiscing about the past. Home to the flat with the balcony that I want when I’m old, and home to the big stone seals in the play park at the end.

I’ve shared it with giggling nieces and nephews as we raced to be first on the swings, with friends who needed a shoulder to cry on and with boyfriends who were playing the old romance card.

I’ve shared both heart breaking and happy times with this beach. It's helped me grieve for those I've lost and I've found a lot of answers here. Sometimes I don’t think at all, I just walk and breathe the air and listen to the sea. On a clear day you can see the sleeping soldier that is Arran or look down the coast to Troon or Turnberry.

It’s beautiful and it keeps me calm when life is a bit mad. It’s peaceful and it’s precious and I love it.

I’m moving to the Big City. I’m leaving the seaside for Glasgow after all these years. This move is a change of my own making, a change that I want and a change that means no more commuting, a better social life and better opportunities for work. I have a whole list of things I want to do and in my head my bags are already packed, I’m in the removal van and I’m half way up the motorway.

My flat has been painted an anonymous shade of magnolia, its personality removed so viewers can imagine living here. I stopped "living" here when I ran my business from my kitchen and my home became my office. I can't wait to have a home again, a real proper home to fill with my friends and laughter and happiness.

I am more than ready to move on, but I am so going to miss the beach and can’t help feeling a little sentimental at leaving it behind.

It's not the best photo, and I prefer it when the tide is in but I thought I'd share my little bit of heaven. You should try it out sometime, breathe deeply, walk slowly and you might just be touched by it's magic.

An Inquisitive Mind

2010-05-21T04:42:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I had dinner at my friends house. We don’t bother with doorbells or knocking so I just walked straight in. Usually I’m welcomed by two very cute toddlers, a big dog, a tiny dog and a cat so huge it could be pass for a cougar.

Last night everyone was upstairs so I was greeted by an empty hallway. On the wall next to the door was a framed certificate awarded to my friend for having “An Inquisitive Mind”. Apparently it’s been there for ages but I’m always distracted by the noisy welcome and had never noticed it before. It made me smile, what a brilliant quality to be recognised for! It really is a true reflection of her character. She asks a lot of questions, digests the information and 9 times out of 10 gives an answer that a) no-one else thought of and b) is a considered & valuable solution to the problem. In short, she’s a clever cookie.

An Inquisitive Mind got her through a law degree and has taken her to a very senior role, yet those achievements aren’t displayed on the walls of her home. It was the “jokey” award which her husband framed for everyone to see, which takes pride of place. Clearly he recognises it’s special, along with hard work and determination it’s possibly the key to her success.

This gave me food for thought.

In high school, about 20 years ago, a new subject called Computer Studies was added to the curriculum. Someone in the Know realised that in the future understanding how a computer worked would be helpful in finding a job.

I suffered from a severe lack of motivation in this particular class (I was very bored which led to me talking, a lot) and my school report stated that:

“If Computer Studies was a “social” subject Annie would be an A student”.

This report landed me in trouble and after being grounded, or some other punishment familiar to teenagers, I buckled down and like every other kid passed the modules. I’m pretty sure most of the UK population now takes those skills for granted.

Could my ability to engage/ distract those around me have been an early sign that I should chose a career in communications? Well, no-one spotted that, I just got a row, “people skills” didn’t carry much weight and my chance to shine was cruelly quashed. Okay, so I’ve embellished that, but you know where I’m going with this.

Someone in the Know was right, we needed those skills but if everyone has them how do we stand out from the crowd when looking for a job? What is your unique selling point?

If I had to choose between a degree in x,y,z OR “An Inquisitive Mind” I know what I’d chose.

And you?

Pretty Shoes ...

2010-05-08T05:48:00.000-07:00

I've spent the last week on a beach in Portugal without my phone, email or Twitter, and had some breathing space to think and to recharge my batteries. Here's my latest update:

When I was a wee girl, five or six years old, we always went to the same shop for our school shoes. We didn’t have a lot of money so whilst I always wanted the patent shoes, with the frills on the front, we always got a “sensible pair” that were scuff resistant, comfortable and likely to endure all the running, skipping, falling and climbing that make up childhood adventures.

Going to the shoe shop was a cause of excitement for my big sister and I because they had a very ‘high tech’ machine that measured your feet. It looked a bit like a shiny silver treadmill you stood on and held on to the bar. Then you lowered your foot into a rectangle that made a “zhoosh” noise and slowly the metal sides moved in to take the measurement. There was a sense of fear that it would crush your foot (for those with an active imagination) and excitement because at that age I really thought, once it gave the size, I’d be getting the patent shoes.

Every year I left the shop with a sensible pair and a petted lip. My sister would get the same style but couldn’t care less about the shoes, she loved the machine and I loved the frills. Now I’m all grown up I still love the fancy shoes but I understand the importance of the right fit, and know what suits one person doesn’t suit an other.

Why am I telling this story in a blog about job hunting? Well, when I closed my business I was fortunate to be offered a great job opportunity. I've always been really interested in communication and with my business background it seemed that this role was perfect for me. I love social media, it's the communication part that fascinates me. I like the connection and am interested in the language, trends, topics and experience it provides for both business and personal use. For me it's about the content, the idea generation, networking and building relationships off line,you still can't beat a real life conversation.

However in reality the “foot measuring machine” would have told me this job wasn’t the best fit for me and to try another shoe. So, I took a bold step and resigned, worked my notice and finished up last week. Some people think I'm nuts to give up a good job in a recession but it's always easy to comment from the sidelines, and life would be so dull if we were all the same. Me? I'm looking forward to whatever is around the corner.

Life is too short to wear the wrong shoes.

Job hunting....

2010-01-27T10:40:00.000-08:00

Did you realise that job hunting is a bit like being in the Mafia? There are things you know, but can’t discuss outside “the family” and it wouldn’t be a smart move to post them online. I’ve been stalling on updating this blog because what I write now affects my prospects of getting a job if I mention the companies I have spoken to and the interviews I’ve had. So my usual style of telling you every last juicy detail will have to curtailed slightly, for now.

I’ve officially been job hunting for ten days since Beluga finally closed. It appears that it’s all a bit of a waiting game. I’ve spent the last few years being very pro-active in organising events and running my business and I’m keen to get moving on a new challenge. I don’t want to pester the living daylights out of agencies but at the same time sitting still waiting for the phone to ring isn’t really my style. I need to find a balance somewhere in the middle.

My CV has been posted to all my contacts and is on the major job searching sites. I’ve had the “we don’t think your skills match” emails that are churned out by an automated service somewhere and I've had interviews; my first in nearly 13 years! S1jobs suggested I become an Army Officer which caused much hilarity amongst my friends, have you seen that Goldie Hawn film? I like my lipstick and heels to much for that kind of career move.

So, what am I doing with my time? I’ve been putting proposals together to run social media accounts for two brands who were fans of my @TheBelugaClub account on Twitter. I love social media so am excited about this however long term I want to work as part of a team, rather than home alone with my laptop.

I’ve also been shaking a lot of hands. Meeting people face to face and having a good old blether is my favourite form of doing business. I’m putting myself in front of as many people as I can and continuing to build my contacts. I’m a fan of the New Media Breakfasts and I worked my way around the room, and the buffet, at the Power Lunch Club last week. Tomorrow night I’m heading to the Social Media Dinner and whilst there is a clear pattern of avoiding cooking, I really enjoy networking, hearing people’s stories, learning and sharing experiences. I’m the girl who always knows someone who can help you because I’ve invested a lot of time listening to my customers/associates and building relationships. During the week I had a call from a documentary maker who was looking for contacts for a film she’s making and I found her 3 candidates. Sometimes in life it is a case of “who you know”!

So, here I am approaching the end of my second week without a “proper" job. How do I feel? On the whole I’m happy and positive although there is the odd moment of panic. I trail through the jobs advertised and wonder where I’ll end up and how long it’s going to take? In my heart I know it will be okay and as long as there isn’t a horses head in my bed tomorrow morning I’m winning!

Two weeks later.......

2010-01-01T10:00:00.000-08:00

It's been a crazy fortnight!

I’ve had 5 enquiries about purchasing my business/website/brand and have a few meetings in January about potential jobs. You could have knocked me down with a feather; I wasn’t expecting that response. In 2 weeks time everything will be done and dusted and Beluga in its current form, will be gone. The chapter will be closed and I will be stepping into the great unknown.

One of the things that took me by surprise after I posted the last blog was the response from those I chat to on Twitter. So many people got in touch to say that they were unhappy with something in their life and that my announcement encouraged them to start making changes and gave them food for thought. I think that’s pretty cool.

Four years ago today I was in A&E with a fractured skull after slipping in the bath and smashing the back of my head. Two inches to the right and I’d be paralysed, if the bath water hadn’t drained away I wouldn’t be here typing this now. It was a very painful and frightening experience, I lost a lot of my memory and for a long time it took away my confidence. I did however learn a very valuable lesson, that life is too short.

Last night I checked my watch at 11.45pm and actually jumped up and down with excitement waiting for the bells to bring in the New Year. I was singing, dancing and laughing with my arms wrapped round the people I love and a huge smile on my face. What does 2010 have in store for me? I have no idea. I feel exceptionally lucky. I have amazing friends, I have my health and I have a penchant for walking on the sunny side of the street, even when it’s raining.

Wishing you a very Happy New Year. Here’s to 2010, a new beginning, a new decade, a new adventure?

Annie x

Closing down my business

2009-12-15T03:30:00.000-08:00

Have you ever been skinny dipping? You take every last stitch of clothing off, you run (I doubt anyone casually strolls) squealing with delight into the cold water and immerse yourself in the coolness. The sense of freedom is so liberating it’s a natural high, it’s slightly naughty and feels like heaven. Making the decision to close my business, the thing I have worked so very hard for, has been huge. I didn’t sleep for weeks but now the decision is made the sense of relief is overwhelming. It’s feels like skinny dipping, it’s the only way for me to describe how I feel.

In January 2008 I left my 11 year career in the airlines and set up The Beluga Club, an online dating and events company for 27 – 49 year olds, based in Scotland. I’ve built an enviable customer base, created and developed a brand, sold memberships and tickets, organised nearly 30 events, introduced hundreds of people and tried to always offer honest advice and excellent customer service.

The Beluga Club featured in the Ecosse section of the Sunday Times, the Herald, Daily Record, Scotsman, Evening Times and some local papers. We got mentions on numerous radio stations and I even phoned in Chris Evans Radio 2 show and made a request live on air for a song for The Beluga Club – not bad for free advertising! We’ve worked with Glasgow University and the research is incredibly interesting and valuable to our sector.

The Beluga Club has introduced many couples who are dating and in relationships and to my knowledge 9 couples live together as a result of meeting via our service. Beluga really is a social network, our events offer a different approach to dating, we don’t have naff name badges, we take time to introduce people and know the majority of our customers - some choose to treat it like a business, others want the personal touch. There are certain aspects of the business that I love, it’s extremely rewarding to watch friendships and romances blossom and know that I played a part in making people happy. I also really enjoy answering email questions about dating and relationships, a free service I’ve offered via our Twitter account @TheBelugaClub. Its been a brilliant experience, I’ve learnt so much and had the pleasure of meeting some truly wonderful people. I’ve had the support of the bar and restaurants trades in Glasgow and Edinburgh and developed valuable relationships for future roles.

So, why am I closing down the business? For the last 2 years I have eaten, slept and breathed Beluga. It has become a way of life instead of a job, it has taken over everything. If my business was a hotel I would be checking people in, cleaning rooms, cooking breakfast and carrying luggage out to the car. It’s too much for one person and I need to find a balance between my work and my personal life. At 33 I want to live my life to the full, I want to surround myself with those I love and I want to be laughing, dancing, socialising and not working myself into the ground. I believe that life is for living. I want to grab it with both hands, stand at the edge and jump right in. I need a work/life balance and can’t find a way to achieve that whilst running Beluga.

By the time you read this all my customers will be informed that the business is closing. It’s going to be a busy week dealing with all the enquiries and the refunds and contacting all the businesses we work with. I’m not entirely sure what the reaction is going to be or how I am going to feel but for me it’s the right choice. I’d like to say that the business doesn’t owe anyone money, we’re not going bust and the tax man isn’t after me. I have no plans to leave the country unless it’s for a holiday.

I am also now looking for a job. When I left the airlines people asked “What does an air hostess do when she hangs up her wings?” For me the answer was to run a social network, organise events and build a business. Now I wonder what a dating expert does when she stops matchmaking? I’ve always worked hard, I’m full of ideas and enthusiasm and working with people is where I’m at my best. I’m organised and I work well under pressure. I can take the knock and I bounce back. What does the New Year have in store for me? I have no idea, I’m open to offers, my interview shoes are polished and I’m just a little bit excited about my new beginning. Will it involve social media, events, sales, PR? Who knows, let’s see what happens.